Dandelion Appreciation Month

May is Dandelion Appreciation Month

For years, these dandy lions were unappreciated by American society. Seen by many as "weeds", they were mowed down, pulled up from their roots, trod upon, spat on, and generally disliked, and for no good reason. Yet as our democracy lays on its deathbed, dandelions yet persist, growing wherever they want, and spicing up boring green lawns with their little yellow plant vulvas strutting around in the air. What do they know that we refuse to acknowledge?

Dandelions have several stages of existence. First, they're invisible. you don't even know they're there, and nobody will believe you if you told them they exist. Then they will begin to sprout, like little bundles on the ends of reddish stems. Not red, but reddish. There's a difference.

Later, when the plant feels mature enough, if you know what I mean, those bundles will open up  to spread its pedals, and invite literally any pollinator to get its little legs dirty in its pollen.

 After letting the insects have their way, the flowers become "pollinated", and the flowers transform into a ball of seeds. they're very light and fluffy, so they can be blown away by the wind, kicked by a thing with feet, or mowed by a mower, and the seeds will fly around all over the place, growing wherever they land. If they land on dirt. The fluffy parts can catch the air so they can blow away in the wind, finding a new home to grow as a new dandelion for all to appreciate.

You may notice here that the seed ball dandelion is taller that the ready-for-action flower. A possible reason for this may be in dandelion's crafty ways to stay alive. When the thotty lawnmowers come, their blades are attracted to anything that's tall. The short flowers are left alone, they survive to reproduce. But when they are filled with seeds, they want to spread it. So if you see a dandelion in this form, don't be shy, kick it right in the face. It wants to be abused.

Here's more rando dandelions for you to look at. I took them all in the last week because there's nothign else to do during the corn teen. If you know how to change the background color on this thing, let me know in the comments.

You don't choose who you are, all the things about your body, your history,  your emotions, the way you think, the things that happen to you, your beliefs,  and your choices are a product of your environment, which your physical and mental body is a part of. I had a lot of time to exist, and realized that all the annoying things i regret from the past could not have been done any differently, because of who i was at those times. And all those things make me who i am now. That is,  they try to help, to shove me in the right direction,  as if the wrong things you ever did aren't necessarily judgments against you, they can be helpers who try to correct you. They try and try every day to get you into the right direction. What's the right direction? I don't know. Maybe a realization about yourself that you can act beyond your own nature, and you choose the kind of person you really want to be, not just what you FEEL like being.

For example, maybe you believed in a way of existing for a time, not because it was the best you could do, but because your brain and/or emotions just accepted it as true, and you were like "that's good enough". It maybe didn't occur to you to really investigate what it is that motivates you, and how you can use your environment not to control you like we all tend to do, but to teach you about yourself, so you can escape the patterns that are doing you no good.

And it's not all about just you. Other people are your environment, and have an effect on you. Likewise, you are a part of the environment of everybody around you. Not in the kind of way that you might perceive yourself to be, all you are to somebody else is the interaction you create with that person. Interactions are all you can ever know about somebody else, and all that somebody else can ever know about you is what you display to that person. These perceptions we have of each other will be influenced by our entire lifetimes. And in many cases, neither of us has a lot of control over these things. Each person is an entire world, unique and vast, and you might only see a few hills or trees in another person's world.

This might be why the are so many misunderstandings between people. I have beliefs and feelings collected over my entire life, and you do with yours, and they are very different from each other,  so maybe we both have good intentions, but we are saying the same thing from such vastly different contexts that a conflict occurs.  A conflict based on nothing but the state of not knowing anything outside your own perspective. And how could you? It's impossible to see anything outside your own lens.  You can't possibly know anything about what is like to be somebody else, so how can you be a judge of somebody who is equally as ignorant of you as you are of me? Nobody chooses who they are. How can you judge somebody for what is not a choice? And if you were hypothetically able to see what it's like to be another person,  it would still be pretty hard to judge,  because then you would see from another's perspective and know that what you disagree with is now very agreeable from somebody else's eyes. Do you want to be the kind of person who judges what yout can't ever understand?

An Easy Plan to Unify The Telephone Numbering Systems of Ireland and Northern Ireland.

An Easy Plan to Unify The Telephone Numbering Systems of Ireland and Northern Ireland.

My Modest Telephony Proposal

I realized this could all be done better.  For a better plan, skip to the bottom. 

As some of us are aware,  the UK recently left the EU. And there is a small possibility that Northern Ireland may or may not rejoin Ireland, or may become independent but choose to adopt the Irish +353 international calling code. I don't know what they want to do. I don't live in those places, I'm not telling anybody what they should do with their countries,  I'm just showing you some ideas, just in case that's what happens. 

Current Numbering Plan

This change will be very easy,  because there are very few number doubles already. For land lines, Northern Ireland is currently +44 28 xxxx xxxx. It can currently be dialed from Ireland with 048. 048 xxxx xxxx. So just change the international code and area code to 0353 48 xxxx xxxx. This will only change how other countries call in.  The UK can choose to reserve 028 to call Northern Ireland.  They have plenty of free numbers if they need them. 

Cell phone numbers are more difficult to alter, because as far as I'm aware, each one needs to be done manually.  I could be wrong. However,  I'm trying to minimize phone number changes,  and it's easier to change land line numbers. Northern numbers use the UK's 07xxx xxx xxx format, which conflicts with 074 and 071 in the northwest parts of Ireland (used in places such as Sligo, Manorhamilton, Carrick-on-Shannon, Bundoran Letterkenny, Donegal, Ballybofey, and others.)  Luckily,  Ireland reserved 03 as an expansion code.  Now hear me out  here,  I don't want to use up all of 03. Only the 037 block. 

071 will switch to 0371. 
074 will switch to 0374. 

All the other 03 numbers can still remain reserved for the unforeseeable future. 030-036, 038, and 039 can stay unused, to help expand the rest of the Irish continent when that time comes. 037 numbers other than 0371 and 0374 can be used however Ireland wishes.

Numbering Plan after 

Unification, if it happens

(Another possibility which just occurred to me would be to use 0301 and 0304, which wouldn't even be needed for expansion anyway,  as no area code currently begins with 00)

There will be an adjustment period for 071 and 074 numbers, which is normal for area code changes. After this, Northern Ireland's 07xxx cell numbers can join +353. The UK can choose to allow those numbers to simultaneously remain directly dialable from the UK unless they wish to duplicate them domestically.

This also gives Ireland an extra pool of cell numbers when 08 runs out. However, if Ireland chooses to duplicate UK cell numbers domestically in the future, then the grandfathered Northern Irish 07 numbers would mandatorily need to begin using +44 to call phones who still live in the UK.

In summary, only two land line codes will change, Ireland will mostly not lose an expansion code, and Ireland WILL gain a cell phone expansion code.

Alternate Plan

Ok, I just thought of a better plan. After hours of writing that first plan, and feeling bad for the good people of 071 and 074, AND after presenting my plan to the proper regulatory agency,  I thought maybe it is easier for cell phones to change nowadays than I once believed. If that is the case,  and considering that in the event of a country code change that people will have to change their numbers anyway,  maybe we can leave 071 and 074 alone and just change Northern cell numbers. According to wikipedia, 081, 082, 084, and 088 are available. The UK style cell phones in the 07xxx xxx xxx format could remove the 7 and use 084 xxx xxx xxx (for example) instead. I'm not sure if Ireland can handle eleven digit numbers, that's the only possible issue other than the feasability of changing all those numbers. This also provides a very large pool of numbers in 084.

You're A Wizard, Harry

I did not write this.



“You’re a wizard, Harry. And you’re coming to Hogwarts.” Hagrid said.

“What’s Hogwarts?” Harry asked.

“It’s wizard school.”

“It’s not a public school, is it?”

“No, it’s privately run.”

“Good. Then I accept. Children are not the property of the state; everyone who wishes to do so has the right to offer educational goods or services at a fair market rate. Let us leave at once.”

“Malfoy bought the whole team brand-new Nimbus Cleansweeps!” Ron said, like a poor person. “That’s not fair!”

“Everything that is possible is fair,” Harry reminded him gently. “If he is able to purchase better equipment, that is his right as an individual. How is Draco’s superior purchasing ability qualitatively different from my superior Snitch-catching ability?”

“I guess it isn’t,” Ron said crossly.

Harry laughed, cool and remote, like if a mountain were to laugh. “Someday you’ll understand, Ron.”

Professor Snape stood at the front of the room, sort of Jewishly. “There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don’t expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few who possess, the predisposition…I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death.”

Harry’s hand shot up.

“What is it, Potter?” Snape asked, irritated.

“What’s the value of these potions on the open market?”

“What?”

“Why are you teaching children how to make these valuable products for ourselves at a schoolteacher’s salary instead of creating products to meet modern demand?”

“You impertinent boy–“

“Conversely, what’s to stop me from selling these potions myself after you teach us how to master them?”

“I–“

“This is really more of a question for the Economics of Potion-Making, I guess. What time are econ lessons here?”

“We have no economics lessons in this school, you ridiculous boy.”

Harry Potter stood up bravely. “We do now. Come with me if you want to learn about market forces!”

The students poured into the hallway after him. They had a leader at last.

Harry and Ron stood before the Mirror of Erised. “My God,” Ron said. “Harry, it’s your dead parents.”

Harry’s eyes flicked momentarily over to the mirror. “So it is. This information is neither useful nor productive. Let us leave at once, to assist Hagrid in his noble enterprise of raising as many dragon eggs as he sees fit, in spite of our country’s unjust dragon-trading restrictions.”

“But it’s your parents, Harry,” Ron said. Ron never really got it.

Harry sighed. “The fundamental standard for all relationships is the trader principle, Ron.”

“I don’t understand,” Ron said.

“Of course you don’t,” said Harry affectionately. “This principle holds that we should interact with people on the basis of the values we can trade with them – values of all sorts, including common interests in art, sports or music, similar philosophical outlooks, political beliefs, sense of life, and more. Dead people have no value according to the trader principle.”

“But they gave birth to y–“

“I made myself, Ron,” Harry said firmly.

“Give me your wand, boy,” Voldemort hissed.

“I cannot do that. This wand represents my wealth, which is itself a tangible result of my achievements. Wealth is the product of man’s capacity to think,” Harry said bravely.

Voldemort gasped.

“There is a level of cowardice lower than that of the conformist: the fashionable non-conformist.”

Voldemort began to melt. Harry lit a cigarette, because he was the master of fire.

“The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities. The minimum wage is a tax on the successful. The market will naturally dictate the minimum wage without the government stepping in to determine arbitrary limits.”

Voldemort howled.

“I’m going to sell copies of my wand at an enormous markup,” Harry said, “and you can buy one like everyone else.”

Voldemort had been defeated.

“He hated us for our freedom,” Ron said.

“No, Ron,” Harry said. “He hated us for our free markets.”

Hermione ached with desire for the both of them to master her, but nobody paid her any attention. They had empires to build.

(Credit to Daniel Ortberg of thetoast.com)

I just discovered that thetoast.com doesn't exist anymore. I found this very sad, but I thought this story need to remain on the internet in some form. 

If you own this and don't want it displayed, don't report me, just ask me to remove it like a rational human would.

tree roots

I found a little park with a bunch of redwood tree roots museum. It's somewhere in New York state. 

The Incredibly Fast Spider, In Perspective.

(Inspired by the fact that a spider can run the relative length of a football field in 3 seconds.)

Spider knew he was fast. Very fast. Therefore, he was confident in his ability to properly tend his web, and catch and subdue insects in his web before they have the chance to escape its threads' sticky clutches.

"Blomb!" The vibrations on the strands let the spider know that the web has a new visitor. Spider quickly scurried up the strands to discover a fly, violently thrashing in vain, as it tried to break free.

"Oh, hello there spider!" said the fly, "I appear to be stuck. Do you think you can help me out?"

"Why, of course! I'll be happy to." said spider "Hold still."

The fly patiently waited as spider approached, exposing a sharp fang.

"I assume you're going to use your fang to help me escape." said fly. "Ouch, you accidentally poked me with your fang!"

"That's right." spider hissed. "I'm helping you escape... Escape this mortal coil. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"No!" said fly. "This isn't what I expected at all! I can't die, I have dozens of maggots back home in the poop!"

"Oh, what a cruel, merciless fate this is! Oh, the profane suffering! What kind of sadistic creator would allow this invisible obstacle to block my path, yet does not give me a brain stem sufficient enough to understand what spiders and webs are?"

Spider said, "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but this is great from my perspective. I'll be eating for weeks!"

Fly said, "Oh yes, good point. It all evens out in the end.". And he died. Slowly.

Suddenly, spider sensed danger. A gigantic beast was lurking nearby. It was the biggest thing that Spider had ever seen. Spider remained completely still.

The enormous monstrosity approached, and tried to attack the spider with its sharp metallic appendage.

"What? I thought I was completely still!" the spider uttered in disbelief. "How could that thing possibly detect my non-moving hairy black body against the white background of this vast windowsill?"

"Perhaps it saw you blink." offered the dead fly.

"It's possible, but perhaps it was your involuntary twitching, done so inconsiderately I might add, from the effects of the venom I so generously injected into you."

"No matter, I gotta get out of here!"

Spider took off, running away at top speed with his super fast running ability. The fastest running in the world, relative to size.

"I think I'm safe now. Six inches seems like a sufficient distance." spider thought. This time he made certain not to blink.

Now spider remained still for a mind-numbingly long time. It was about five seconds. Suddenly, the 4-pringed metallic appendage attacked again.

Spider was shocked. How was he discovered so quickly?

Spider knew what spider had to do. He ran and ran and ran. Spider ran as fast as he could, for as long as he could endure. Up, up over the wooden sill, up the cold glass wall, dashing at lightning speed up the cold, smooth, barren landscape.

After what felt like an eternity, and exhausted spider realized he had traversed the greatest distance he ever traveled in his entire life. It was about seventeen inches. Spider never imagined ever being able to run this far.

"The foul beast can't possibly find me here!" Spider relaxed, knowing that the grand distance between he and the fork monster could never be violated.

"As long as I'm safe, I might as well read up on what's going on in the world on that quickly approaching newspaper..."

And this concludes the story of spider.

secret 365

I'm secretly doing a 365 project, that thing where you take a photo every day. I'm not telling anybody about it, only the internet.

http://365project.org/plump



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